As with all posts, no specific client is identifiable. The topics being discussed are generic and combine those things that are common to many people.
She struggled, mightily, in High School, being teased unmercifully and ultimately forced to transfer to a home schooling program in her junior year. She passed the GED without much difficulty, but her lack of social skills being a young woman with High Functioning Autism made her an outcast, despite her academic strengths. Middle school and high school were, she admits, pretty miserable for her.
Not surprisingly she took in all of the social rejection given her and thought poorly of herself. So poorly she ended up inadvertently sabotaging her first year in college. Like many individuals with HFA, she (and, I suspect her family) were eager for her to start over in college, hoping the slate would be wiped clean and that she'd develop her own sense of herself and realize her own potential. She traveled far enough to dorm but close enough to come home on weekends and holidays. She sunk deeper into the depression and anxiety that had taken root in her middle school years, began skipping classes her first semester, but despite that passed all of her classes. Which did nothing to ease the depression and anxiety, as she was no more socially accepted or comfortable in her own skin in college than she had been in HS. By spring break she was home.
I began seeing her about a year later after she had begun medications and was re-establishing herself academically at a local college. Living at home with parents who struggled between how to best support her while struggling with their frustration at her failure to launch into adulthood. As an only child, her parents were hoping so much that they'd be able, finally, to move on with their lives as she moved on with hers. They'd worked hard, been on top of her needs as best as they could, but couldn't protect her from the unfortunate and predictable pain of adolescence as a person with HFA. Nothing they did could help her cope with who she was in a way that helped her adapt to social life in HS and college. They feared her return home might be permanent.
She struggled, as do many people with HFA, with the executive functioning challenges from her concurrent diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). parents and while in HS her teachers, via her IEP made sure she received the support she needed to get her assignments done, handed in and for her to prepare on time for tests and longer term projects, she was loathe to utilize the student support services at her first attempt at college. Her lack of organization had already been reflected in some very low grades in this second attempt and I encouraged her to reconsider utilizing the school's student support services. She reluctantly obtained the permission she needed for extended time for testing - the only significant accommodation called for, and utilized it when needed. And between that and the support I and her parents gave her, she developed a pattern of success.
We spent lots of time discussing the issues she struggles with, similar to those many young adults have; the nature of her diagnoses and their impacts upon her as well as how to identify and understand her emotions; religion and philosophy, as her beliefs in these areas were significantly different from her parents'; sexuality; ; self worth; how to contribute in her academics and professional career in a way that was consistent with her strengths and, more importantly, not inconsistent with her weaknesses and challenges. I have found her a thoughtful young woman, willing to deeply consider alternative narratives to the many assumptions she'd developed over the years.
And now, with her undergraduate degree within reach, she has a new struggle, a new challenge that she's not faced previously. She now is learning how to cope with, to understand and internalize the emotions wrought by the feelings of success, how they conflict with the inner narrative she'd developed over the past number of years. How it feels to have job prospects for which she's qualified and, as it turns out, is a good candidate. She deserves lots of credit and I share with her parents in particular a great pride in her growth and development. The struggle of success - it has a nice ring to it.
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