Monday, November 21, 2016

"I Pulled the Car Over"

It was the simplest of statements.  A mom I've been working with regarding her only child said that while doing errands her daughter went on a bit of a rant with her about a whole long list of things, some clearly pertinent, some that seemed less so.  Mom's review of the incident with me included her stating "I pulled the car over to speak with her about it."  Mom then proceeded to spend the time needed to listen to her daughter and begin to talk the issues through before resuming the chores.

Imagine that.  Telling a child that her concerns are so important that the chores can wait.  No multi-tasking.   People have a hard time not multi-tasking when waiting on the check out line these days - the emails, calls, texts and social media posting just CAN'T wait.  Seemingly.  No minimizing of her concern.  How many of us have said "that's just not true" or an equivalent dismissal to kids who are learning to communicate with us?  How many of us have just ignored them?

So when this mom said to her child that the chores can wait, she said "there's nothing more important that I can do right now than listen to you when you're expressing your concerns to me," it gives me reassurance that regardless of the choice the child may make with the issues she has, this mom has a bead on something quite important.

I'm often reminded that we who are parents would absolutely lay our lives down for our kids - it's important they know that.    But most of us don't live in war zones.  When heaven forbid something bad happens to our kids, we'd happily take the hit for them, and I think kids know that, even when it's impossible for us to accomplish.  But, do your kids know you're willing to pull the car over for them when they need to talk? Most all of us live in driving zones.