"Drilling" is how, in Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (from Ross Greene's The Explosive Child), we learn more about children's thoughts and feelings regarding problems posed to them. Drilling for information is not, as Greene aptly states, "grilling." Children are not to be interrogated. They are to be questioned in a way that aligns us with them - which is a different conceptualization than the traditional hierarchic structure most of us are used to - the family system having its "executive branch" of the parents and the children being "subordinate" to them. And while I'm not opposed to this model - indeed I see great benefit to it - with certain kids there's a limit to what this model can achieve. Thus, collaboration.
Paula is an almost 10 year old girl in a family that I've been working with for a while. There have been many challenges that are not pertinent for this discussion (the reader will note that all clinical examples are materially changed for reasons of confidentiality) but the issue at hand for Paula is homework.
Admittedly, she has some challenges in her math skills - particularly when working with dad, for reasons that became clear as we drilled, meaning essentially that we pursued a line of thought re: the problem at hand. We began with the broad ("clumped" in Greene's language) problem of "agreeing on when to begin homework." When asked which homework was the most likely to have a hard time agreeing about, she admitted it was math. Now math is a pretty broad subject, it has lots of pieces. We explored this and she was able to clarify that her toughest area was when she had to address:
1. new math concepts that had been recently introduced in class
2. some fraction concepts
3. understanding which math operation was indicated by simple word problems.
Well, that's a lot less "clumped" isn't it?
It might be tempting to wrap it up there. But until she says that we've fully understood the problem, we continue to drill. How does dad's presence effect her difficulty in doing homework? Paula's response? She doesn't like simply to be "told what to do" with the homework by dad. Well, that's interesting isn't it? How many of us would assume that telling the child what do is helping them with their homework? Not so much for Paula.
Were we done? We used the simple "review and ask" drilling suggestion. We reviewed that she had difficulty:
1. with new math concepts
2. with some fraction concepts
3. understanding which math operation was indicated by simple word problems
4. being simply told what to do when stuck doing math
Anything else difficult doing the math homework? She fidgeted in her seat and paused. Her older sister Natalie told her she's "dumb" because she doesn't do math as well as Natalie. She teared, she was sad. It was easy to see how difficult this was for her. When asked what else might be going on, Paula was clear, we had it all. This was it, these were the problems she experienced with math.
So we now end up with 5 problems - the last being the teasing from Natlalie - as interfering with her ability to do her math homework.
In CPS we want to de-clump the problems. We do so by asking, drilling, for more information. We ultimately learned with Paula there are 5 problems, not one. So when it comes to problem solving, we now have 5 things to collaborate about. Is it do-able? Yes. More complicated? Yes. Does Paula deserve the time and focus on these problems? Of course - she's their child!
One of the criticisms I've heard about CPS is that it "takes too long." That may be. But I think Paula's worth taking the time to collaborate on each and every problem she has with math so that she can
1. get the math
2. learn that she can solve problems with her parents' help and guidance
3. learn that Natalie may not be right.
It may take more time, but by devoting the time more prescriptively, more accurately, we may accomplish a lot, and make Paula's future math and math homework experience a lot easier.
I'd day those are worthwhile goals.
