As with all postings, materiel changes to any descriptions of clients are made to protect their privacy.
Pretty disparate title, no? King Solomon lived almost 3,000 years ago. Hillel, a Rabbi authored many important opinions in the Jewish Talmud lived about 900 years later. David Burns is a psychiatrist who is still living. What on earth could they have in common?
Kim hs just started HS and has been working hard on dealing with anxiety. Anxiety disorders occurs in 25% of all teens from 13-18 according to the NIMH. That's a lot of kids. So Kim's situation is pretty common. Indeed, I see lots of kids with anxiety.
Kim's dad had, dutifully upon my recommendation, bought her a book about anxiety written by David Burns, the psychiatrist who wrote the seminal book Feeling Good about depression. He's gone on to write about anxiety and panic disorders, and "cognitive behavioral therapy" to which he is a foundational contributor. It's a well documented treatment for anxiety, depression and panic disorders. His books have lots of information, worksheets and the like about anxiety - and Kim and I recently embarked on a detailed discussion about her experience with anxiety as she's begun to go through the book. In the midst of our discussion, I was reminded of comments that seemed so apropos. Historical comments that took us on a millennial trip.
She first observed that if Burns had known so much of this, there had to be a lot of people with these issues to study. She noted that she's likely not as alone as she has feared. I commented reflexively "There's nothing new under the sun," originally stated by King Solomon in Ecclesiastes, commenting upon the pursuits that occupy people's lives. He didn't use the term "cognitive distortions" but, I dare say, would have understood the term in light of his writings about how we develop meaning. Yes, Kim, there's been anxiety since we had to worry about being attacked by saber toothed tigers. Our job is to balance when it makes sense to worry - and when it doesn't.
We then moved on in our discussion about Burns' musings on anxiety and turned the corner into the burden many of us have prioritizing our own needs over the needs of others, and how, if we focus too much on the needs of others, our own needs become neglected. Again, reflexively, I stated Hillel's famous comment from about 2,000 years ago:
"If I'm not for my self, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
Kim and I discussed that indeed, we are not islands where we never need others, nor do we ignore others' needs. Neither are we able to be a fountain of unlimited giving to others. But we do have to connect and contribute to others. Hillel's goal, if I may be so bold to say, is balance, a skill that many folks with anxiety (and depression) struggle to maintain.
And of Hillel's last statement: "If not now, when?" I think that brings Kim right back to Burns' book. He's quite clear in his books that they are not just for reading. They're for using. Using the tools, the worksheets and the exercises that are outlined to challenge the preconceived conclusions that we have that keep us anxious or depressed. This practice enables learning - in the same way kids play catch with a parent - so they can master the skills involved in throwing and catching the ball. They create muscle memory that sticks with them for a lifetime. The practice with Burns has to do with creating the neural pathways - the neurological equivalent of muscle memory - in order to successfully address the anxiety/depression at hand.
So, Kim is, hopefully, on her way to the path of creating these different strategies to address her anxiety. She's a good kid, a hard worker, and I have faith in her desire to challenge the current "cognitive distortions" that keep her anxious. I was a bit surprised, however, that our discussion of her journey brought us from today, back 2900 years to the days of King Solomon with a short - but meaningful stop some 2000 odd years ago with Hillel.
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