As with all postings, materiel changes to description of individuals is made to protect confidentiality.
A client of mine (neurotypical) recently told me of a coined phrase he learned from his sales team. His sales were OK last year, but not at the pace he wanted to meet the needs of his family causing not a small amount of stress at home. The phrase is "pushing past comfort" to get the desired sales results. He's been doing that with his supervisors and has weekly and monthly sales goals and marketing strategies he's responsible for to keep him on track. So far he's optimistic about the system and has a positive, active plan to increase his productivity this year.
That same day another (neurotypical) client of mine came in, struggling with a new relationship she was in. She's been in a number of relationships in the past and has found herself in a pattern where the pace of the physical relationship is faster than the pace of the emotional relationship. This is not uncommon in our society, a result, I believe of the "free love" explosion of the 60's and 70's when sexuality became an end unto itself, creating a great wave of permission for communication before, during and after physical intimacy which is a good thing. But in her case (and in the case of many people), she's ended up in a pattern where the physical has preceded the emotional and she's struggling with how to change that with her new boyfriend. She didn't use the language, but is also "pushing past the comfort" of her old patterns, of which I'm very supportive.
The same day (really), another client came in who might be on the autism spectrum - I know lots of clinicians who might diagnose him with high functioning autism, though I'm personally more conservative about throwing the label around without more clear data (happy to discuss that elsewhere if you want). He's one of these guys who's extremely bright and extremely anxious - his anxiety first evidenced since some emotional challenges, not trauma, he experienced at an early age - but he's never been able to treat the anxiety effectively despite great efforts on his part and the part of his mom, step dad, many psychiatrists and therapists. He's about to venture into a new career at which he's eminently qualified, but it will demand some social schmoozing within the professional network in his field. He's ready. He's planned out what to do, how to do it, even though doing so "pushes past his comfort" to which his anxiety traditionally restricts him.
The day before a (neurotypical) woman in my office was struggling with her role as a step mother to her husband's two young children. She fears if she doesn't bend over backwards - and then some - for the kids, her husband will be upset with her. We began to discuss where and how she learned that kids needed to be indulged (as her mother did with her) and whether that's a necessary pattern to continue in her current family. It's painful for her for a variety of reasons, and I thought about "pushing past comfort" zones to accomplish one's goals. I think she's doing this as well.
Carl Jung, a psychoanalyst who famously broke with Freud in 1913 was a proponent of "the collective unconscious," a phenomenon positing that different people can have shared unconscious experiences. I've not really studied Jung, but from time to time I have a "collective unconscious" experience. Recently, it seemed to span these four clients....maybe.... Why maybe?, Because as I consider it "pushing past our comfort zone" is a common part of the human condition. Isn't it what we do when we're tired of whatever status quo we're in and want something more in our lives? I don't know the answer. I only know that last week, when I had these four folks in the span of two days, all of whom had this theme in their lives, it gave me pause to wonder about how they, and I, push past comfort zones for the sake of positive change.
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