Getting through to kids and teens, particularly if they are on the autism spectrum, can be difficult. Just as difficult is getting through to them regarding the stigma of being "different." Nobody wants to be different. We all want to be normal, right smack dab in the middle of the bell curve. The reality is, however, that none of us are "average," or "normal." We're each unique in our own unique way and thus have an obligation to recognize our uniqueness and to accommodate for them.
One of the examples I use to help get through the stigma of "difference" is diabetes. Most everyone, even kids, has at least heard of diabetes, many folks have family members with it and I also work with kids who actually have diabetes - so they of course know firsthand the realities of the disease. Diabetes is caused by the inability of the pancreas to produce insulin, and insulin is what metabolizes the sugars in the system. Without insulin, ones' blood glucose levels go up upsetting the delicate chemical balance that sustains us. What's clear with diabetes is that it's nobody's fault, and despite the "unfair" aspect of having it, it has to be dealt with. (Even type 2 diabetes is not anyone's fault, obesity is a risk factor, but not directly causative of diabetes. Plenty of obese people never get diabetes.)
I start off explaining to kids that the first reality of diabetes or (fill in the blank: autism; ADHD; depression etc.) is that it is. It's a thing. It can be manageable, but one has to manage it. Having diabetes requires that one check one's blood glucose levels regularly. That usually means a small stick in a finger, a drop of blood in the glucometer and insulin per the doctor's instructions. If you don't do that you increase the risk of complications that can become life threatening. I often run through the litany of the things less severe than death that can happen with poor diabetes management like amputation of a limb, blindness, kidney failure, all the kinds of things that terrify any thinking person.
And then there's autism. People with high functioning (and even lower functioning) autism are at higher risk for things like ADHD, anxiety, depression and OCD and more. That doesn't mean people with autism will automatically have these problems, they just are at higher risk. And when one has one of these complications, it's incumbent on the person to recognize them and take action. That's why we have family members, therapists and doctors, to observe, comment and suggest. Part of the problem with suggestions is that they imply a responsibility, a weighty word to use for adolescents who are often not paragons of responsibility. And yet being depressed or anxious is no picnic, just like being in the hospital with diabetic ketoacidosis is not a fun activity.
The suggestions for managing the complications of high functioning autism like ADHD, anxiety and depression can be minor or major. My standard recommendation for anxiety and depression is exercise. For years studies show that 30 minutes of aerobic exercise 3-4 times per week helps reduce anxiety and depression. Mindfulness, the practice of self awareness is another recommendation that's been around for ....millennia. So I recommend practices like meditation (I like guided meditation) and/or yoga to help with that. And the combination of meditation and exercise shows great results in combating depression. Medications are often quite helpful as well, but no matter what the suggestion, like the diabetic, one has to actually take action to do what can help.
Lots of kids and adolescents (yes, and adults), struggle with compliance with suggestions like meditation, exercise or medication. Often as a response to their not fully recognizing the reality that they have. But I remind them, we all have something. Even the kid you think has it all, doesn't. Everybody has something they struggle with, something that needs attention and management. We all have diabetes.
